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Facing the winters of relationship

  • Published
  • By Chaplain (Maj.) Nealy Brown
  • 315th Airlift Wing Chaplains Office
JOINT BASE CHARLESTON, S.C. --  We all have seasons in our relationships. When we're dating, it's summertime--we're having a blast, everything is warm and wonderful. But sometimes we have autumn and things are starting to "fall" apart on us. As time goes on it can become the dead of winter, and what do you do when it's cold and gray? We tend to stay inside and avoid the cold, but avoiding that only makes it colder, worse still, we move to warmer weather.

A lot of winters walk into my counseling office. We should expect winters. Sometimes there's winter because the relationship between us has not gone well, and we allow autumn to turn into winter. Sometimes it's winter because we have things going in life that have depleted and destroyed and emptied us. For the longest time, every single couple that came to see me, whether they were twenty or fifty, had kids under the age of five. Why? Because they are amazing, fabulous, precious little life-sucking devices. But whether it's a child, a job, financial strain, or a sick parent, we will most certainly end up in winter at some point even in the best relationships.

Luckily, I have wonderful news, sunshine can melt the ice and snow. Even when we've had a blizzard, and we feel like we're getting nowhere because all we see is snow and ice, we have no idea the layers we can melt away with our warmth. If we will choose to be "sunny" and "warm" even when others act in ways and say things that are "cold", in time the winter will melt away. I have witnessed many brave people who chose to be sunny and warm despite cold winters where it seemed the sun might never shine again. These folks didn't expect a few warm moments to instantly melt away all the ice and snow that have accumulated over time. So, hang in there and keep on shining and being warm, in time, the winter cannot help but melt away and you will be enjoying the newness of spring and the exciting days of summer once again.